[Siriusam]

Hi TS, you do realize that it is only thrilling because having an affair with SIL is like eating a forbidden fruit. Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest. But you would never initiate divorce with your wife in the first place because the one you truly love is your wife.

Let J go, you have tasted the forbidden fruit already. And now that you're divorced (sorry to hear about it btw), J is no longer a forbidden fruit, thus losing the appeal, thrill & desire even if you can have her. Correct me if I'm wrong though.. the feelings you have for J is just infatuation, not true love.

It explains why when you signed the papers, a part inside of you died. The best thing to do now is to move on from the divorce and J as well. I know it would be hard and very sad thing to do, but hey, we only live once right? Best to make the rest of our days meaningful and purposeful, rather than dwelling over the past. Good luck in everything you do, think with your head, not your heart.