[yang punk]

Btw TS, I am not sympathetic towards you! We only heard your side of the story which is obviously skewered in your favour. By your own admission you led a hedonistic life after breaking up with J. You probably made no attempt to salvage your marriage with your wife.

When you told J your wife proposed divorce and she went to talk with her sister but you did not elaborate what she found out and whether she reported back to you. J is no longer a young naive schoolgirl she can probably digest what her sister told her and judge for herself what you are worth.

If you truly love J let her decide for herself what she wants...do not bug her. If she is fated to be yours she will come back to you.