Originally Posted by larue
My therapist helped me to identify and understand some deeply ingrained negative mindsets and patterns of behaviour which had prevented me from taking decisive action, or led me to take the wrong path every time a fork in the road appeared.
Knowing one has these mindsets is only half the battle won, but it is still worth knowing what they are.
Understanding how they came about is crucial, because then and only then can one gain the belief that change is within one down hands.
It helped me understand that while environmental factors led me to where I was in my life, which was nowhere, what was keeping me down was no longer the environment but the choices I made on the basis of the few options I believed that my environment constrained me to.
Basically, it made me realise how many more options were available to me than my mind had previously never even considered.
And this worked not because I was simply told to ‘make better choices’, because who the fuck chooses to make bad choices in life?
It worked because a whole host of mental shackles were broken by CBT.
TS started a post offering to pay someone for raw sexy the hope that it will cure his sexual problems.
I know from experience he is barking up the entirely wrong tree.
That choice is made of an irrational desperation because his mental prison no longer permits him to make correct, rational ones.
Everyday on this forum I see men make poor desperate choices because they can’t see any way out of their hopelessness.
Most are not even aware how poor and desperate their choices are, but all firmly believe that they are the only ones they have to choose from.
Of course a ADHD diagnosis helped me. That it was even suggested to me shocked me, but it also really helped me to understand some of my past self destructive behaviour going back to when I was a teen.
To sum it up, CBT helped me realise that my failures in life were due to this:
I had set up incredibly high expectations for myself from a young age without realising it.
I always thought my failures were the result of me not setting even higher expectations for myself, with the result being me setting ever higher impossible to reach bars for myself with every failure.
That every failure meant I had to beat myself up even harder, inflict more punishment on myself until I turn the corner.
CBT helped me recognise this was what I was doing, and how counter productive this behaviour actually was.
The root cause of everybody’s mental prison is different (but I wager a lot of it has to with parents), but everybody can benefit from a good CBT practitioner.
If they seek to understand more about their own behaviour, or to make a change in life.
That’s why I recommend it to anyone here who seeks help, because that is already the first step. Accepting deep inside that there is something wrong with their life, something rotten even.
While sexual dysfunction was not the reason I sought out CBT, it did cure me of it because a lot of sexual dysfunction is in fact, not sexual at all.
I sought treatment for it many years ago too, and was prescribed reading material that did not relate to sex at all. I dismissed that therapist as a quack and ended up putting up with sexual dysfunction instead.
But my (mentally induced) sexual dysfunction has gone away for good now, which is great because I still have many years to enjoy the use of my cock!
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