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Originally Posted by Willamshakspear

Most of Samsters here are here to share experiences, not to dictate or pose judgements, but to help as much as we can, to save lives, not for fortune as most of our views are freely given, even some of which are better than what paid professionals can give, nor for glory, as each of us leave no names or contact, to be praised or acclaimed, thanks to the owner of this site Bro Sam Leong, who in NZ, cares not a fig & would show his center figure to authoritative figures whom demand for names & ID of members, which gives anonymity which is necessary to speak forthrightly, truthfully without fear or favor to anyone, so long as what that had been posted - a privilege by brave Bro Sam - have no intentional direct hurt or harm another fellow Human, more so to Singaporeans, but only to allow views to challenge, or be challenged in open but hopefully diplomatic manner, to shed a light, to learn, , to change others or be changed by others, to progress....

As to your request, there is not much information given. Normally, between both sexes, should one be respected as a good good friend would eventually lead to marriage & a family - the bastion & growth of civilization, as each communicates well & have good thoughts of each other, care & concern.

Thus, one will wonder - could it be that you have FAR more unrealistic expectations from a guy - such as looks, wealth, sexual behavior, romantic notions, etc, that your present good good guy friend did not meet up to expectations?

There is no Mr or Ms Right in this World, as NONE is perfect. Each have their flaws. The only true Mr or Ms Right is the one whom will COMPROMISE with each other, to make the necessary journey of life meaningful & fruitful for the continuation of our Human Race...

Or, are you already married, & found a nice guy of your dreams, but yet due to marriage vows or the comfort zone provided by your avowed husband, unwilling to make the difficult choice of whom you want to spend the rest of your journey in life with?

You are not alone. 'Should I spend the rest of my life with the one who love loves me, or with the one that I love?' , sadly, is a perennial question faced by Humans...

Only with more revelations from you, can we share experiences, to help..

It's precisely why I came by to ask for advises here. It's the non judgemental stance most of you offer which I don't find anywhere else.

Ok a little bit more about my situation ..

It's not my unrealistic expectation. My AF (affair partner) is not exactly Andy Lau but we compliment each other. He dresses well for his age and care to smell nice. Sexual compatibility wise we are way off the charts. In short he exceeds all expectations but only thing is that we are both married and with children.

It's just a simple word 'guilt' and this guilt of mine will revisit me when I am with my husband having family time together. And exactly like what you said that no one is perfect that i felt that i have let my husband down whenever i see he is trying to do his part as a father. But as a husband, he doesn't make love to me anymore since a few years ago.
And that's this part when I'm with my AF, I feel alive and wanted. As for a woman to feel loved, we need to make love and create bond. Not just toys to satisfy ourselves with.

So u see, this is the fix I'm in. Although I'm unsatisfied at home I feel double bad to do this to another guy's family. Despite I know he loves me dearly and it's precisely why I shouldn't drag him along more. It'll end up badly. There's ultimately no future in affairs. But I do want at least a friendship where he can come by eat a meal or 2 I make whenever he misses my food or offer a company to run errands with.

Am I a bad person to just cut him off?