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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. |
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#16
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Re: How to 释怀?
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Every people situation is different. It depends on the love involved.
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Last edited by rainmaker1; 20-10-2023 at 12:44 AM. Reason: Weongly written |
#17
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Re: How to 释怀?
This thread touch my heart.. Yes i too ended my affair in 2016 which lasted for 2 years 8 months. Both of us r married and i have to let go of her eventually as i cant just divorce my wife and my kids..
Till then i still cant let go of her completely.. Though it have been 7 years and just as TS.. I dun dare to get emotionally involved with another girl again.. Knowing that it will get us nowhere again.. |
#18
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Re: How to 释怀?
It's so tough to be sad and still have to appear normal/ happy infront of others. The only thing for me now is to spend more time with family 天伦之乐 and compensate them for the time loss, while I was with this girl.
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#19
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Re: How to 释怀?
Bro, the time when I spent with her were the only times I don't have to pretend to be happy
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#20
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Re: How to 释怀?
I was truly happy with her, and when we broke off, I wasn't happy. I have to put up a front infront of others, but deep down no one knows I am actually unhappy.
You know, I envy you guys where you and your affairs are sweet and happy and broke off not because you treated each other differently, but because one of you doesn't want the other to go through some sort of emotional rollercoaster. Update: I still reach out and we still ON/OFF for a few times, but each time is short lived. However, I am only treated with harsh words, stating im not doing enough even though I have given most of my time and attention to her. Always finding things to be mad at me and break up with me over and over again. Really to a point I feel very jaded and really enjoy time at home. I hope I don't U-turn. I hope I really manage to 释怀. I hope. |
#21
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Re: How to 释怀?
The hard part of ending a relationship or affair with a girl is not about:
1. She is the best among all you have been with. 2. She is the perfect one. 3. Time will not erase this memory of her. The actual issue is that we men always want to pursue any issue with a proper closure, and in this instance to have a proper happy ending with the girl you are having an affair. However, the fact is that we know that it is impossible unless both parties are willing to give up what you have currently (family, status etc). So when the inevitably unwilling breakup seems to be an "incomplete" closure to this relationship. Even after many years have passed this 'incompleteness" will still linger in our mind and more than often we want to get back to with the same girl and hopefully to have a real closure. And that's the reason why it is so hard to end an affair.
__________________
Urging towards Higher points benchmark. Need bros and sis support. Will return favour every 24hr..... |
#22
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Re: How to 释怀?
Bro i really agreed with u on this point..
For me i truly learnt a lesson.. Never commit if u cant promise the girl anything esp when we r married with kids.. It is unfair to her too and eventually she will feel drained too.. End of the day.. We men will find it difficult to let go too.. Leaving a voidness in our heart... QUOTE=urger;22822255]The hard part of ending a relationship or affair with a girl is not about: 1. She is the best among all you have been with. 2. She is the perfect one. 3. Time will not erase this memory of her. The actual issue is that we men always want to pursue any issue with a proper closure, and in this instance to have a proper happy ending with the girl you are having an affair. However, the fact is that we know that it is impossible unless both parties are willing to give up what you have currently (family, status etc). So when the inevitably unwilling breakup seems to be an "incomplete" closure to this relationship. Even after many years have passed this 'incompleteness" will still linger in our mind and more than often we want to get back to with the same girl and hopefully to have a real closure. And that's the reason why it is so hard to end an affair.[/QUOTE] |
#23
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Re: How to 释怀?
[QUOTE=dragontank;22830981]Bro i really agreed with u on this point..
For me i truly learnt a lesson.. Never commit if u cant promise the girl anything esp when we r married with kids.. It is unfair to her too and eventually she will feel drained too.. End of the day.. We men will find it difficult to let go too.. Leaving a voidness in our heart... So my advice to those who is struggling whether to continue or break, the answer is just to call it a stop. If you want both parties to be really happy and move on with life, discontinuing the relationship is the only solution. We can't have the best of both worlds. There is a saying, "If you love her and want her to be happy, then do not be the one to hinder the happiness on her."
__________________
Urging towards Higher points benchmark. Need bros and sis support. Will return favour every 24hr..... |
#24
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Re: How to 释怀?
I agree with you bro, hence I decide to make her utterly disappointed with me and so she will never speak or look at me again. I guess this is the only way to let go and move on. It hurts, but no choice. I just hope she will meet someone good to her and have her own share of happiness.
One thing that she say very 扎心, "I hope we don't meet in the next life", "Why do I have to meet you in this life". |
#25
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Re: How to 释怀?
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Good for you! There are many things in the present life waiting for you to pursue. Find and internalise the many happiness.
__________________
Urging towards Higher points benchmark. Need bros and sis support. Will return favour every 24hr..... |
#26
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Re: How to 释怀?
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#27
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Re: How to 释怀?
Not advocating for divorce but i wonder how many couples are going through loveless marriages. I personally find it a bit disturbing when i can have many guy friends who do not love their wives at all, and play like crazy outside, but always return to act as perfect and loving husbands. I award them the best actors golden horse. And albeit expensive divorce, is it really expensive if you may be happier instead? Of course the worse would be divorce and also ended up gf-less. I wonder how things would change if the girl is self sufficient and rich.
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#28
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Re: How to 释怀?
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Right now I just hope she will be fine and find her own happiness, while I will focus all my time with my family and my friends. We did talk about it before that we come from different worlds, and our path would have never cross. |
#29
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Re: How to 释怀?
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#30
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Re: How to 释怀?
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