how to make my FB fall for me?

[flowbow]

Originally Posted by sane

It's stressful to be with someone like tt, no secure feel n u won't noe when the rs will stale off n eventually stop contacting each other. Busy with career is always the best excuse, have u read this book "He's just not that into u"? It's a good read tt will wake women up

Never read that book before, but I did watch the movie... If it's the same one. I actually read up on his horoscope and it was very accurate. He is not the kind that can provide me the security for sure, and if we were to get together I am gonna have to give him a lot of the freedom he needs. I don't know if I can do that in the first place, but what I do know right now is that I feel enough for him to want to try. Except that we aren't together.

Originally Posted by Wizrd

No worries sweetie...my pleasure...




Hmmmmm...if that is true...then I really see him more as a BF...

Oh....hahahahha...sorry sweetie...forgot one thing that will freak him and you both out...BF and GF should not be afraid to meet each other's parents...heh heh heh...dish that one out and see what happens...but cannot cheat hor...must introduce as BF or GF...none of that just friend business...

Jokes aside sweetie...just think through what is important to you and make a decision...you know where I stand on this issue...as long as he is making you happy...regardless of how he does it...stick with it until you can find happiness elsewhere...

I find it very sad that women always see themselves as the victim in a sexual relationship...men are always the one enjoying the benefits but women are suffering the sex...this skewed viewpoint then creates a them versus us mindset...heyyy...men and women are opposites exactly so that we can make love and not war....don't ruin that by changing the balance into "they" take advantage of "us".

Two people are involved in a relationship...just like dating, both will present their best to the other person...both will hide things they wish the other person never find out...do we call this lying? You can, but that is how the game is played...why must there be accusations of 狐狸尾巴?? If one day he sees you without makeup...can he also accuse you of cheating him because that is not face he tackled way back when? What if he finds you unshaven? Hey...money back please, the girl I date shaves her legs everyday...oh, come on...some people need to grow up.

Please people...live and let live...life is hard enough....when you find someone who makes you happy...even for a few hours a day...enjoy it...give him/her back as good as you are getting...now, that is a healthy relationship regardless of either person's marital status...

If sex is involved, so be it...should my sexual partner be upset if I have a new chess partner? Let's not force all the issues together...sex is just sex...some people are kinky, some are sedate, some wants a lot, some have fetishes...how can we always guarantee that our future partner is perfectly compatible with us sexually in the long run? We cannot.

So...we have to find our own happiness...sexually or otherwise...and sweetie...as long as you are happy in the relationship, ignore people who tell you to just get out...they are not you, they do not know how you feel, and maybe, just maybe, they do not recognise happiness when it smacks them in the face...so to them...oh, a relationship must be be proper...you cannot do this or as a woman you will lose out...blah blah blah, sour grapes...
Ignore them sweetie...only you will know if you are happy...if you are...to hell with the rest of the world...if you are not, think of what makes you happy and go look for it. As a woman, you have no less a right to find happiness. Let me know if you need help, I will teach you how to cheong and to hide your 狐狸尾巴 while doing it so you can have a real blast...

Hmm... Thanks for the advice. From what I conclude, I think the important thing right now is just that I'm happy. And I truly am, even though it's a bit disappointing sometimes because I know I want something more out of this. But to be frank I am happy enough as it is with things being this way.

[sane]

Originally Posted by flowbow

He is not the kind that can provide me the security for sure, and if we were to get together I am gonna have to give him a lot of the freedom he needs. I don't know if I can do that in the first place, but what I do know right now is that I feel enough for him to want to try. Except that we arent together.

Jus enjoy the moment n let things fall naturally

[Wizrd]

Hi sane,

Sorry but spent yesterday flying around...two countries in 7 hours......but at least for now I'm settled for the next few days...

Originally Posted by sane

Thanks Bro for ur posts n I read every sentence thoroughly .
Oops what I meant was when he sent me home after drinks, he never advance anymore but to ensure that I got home safely instead.
We r not intimate because he can tell that I'm not ready for it yet n he respect me for that.
..........
Let's see how things goes if we manage to meet up. Even if things doesn't work out, we can still be very good friends.

That's great if you're happy with how it is going...I do tend to be suspicious of a relationship that is neither moving forward nor backwards...however, I do not have enough information to say that yours is like that...

Just be happy girl...

Originally Posted by sane

I can't help but to keep reading this paragraph, u definitely make my day by making me sound like an old bitter spinster. .......
Thanks for making my day I'm off for my swim n yoga now. Njoy your weekend ya..

A good laugh a day keeps the doctors away...stay healthy and cool...both in body and mind...

Originally Posted by sane

Jus enjoy the moment n let things fall naturally

Best advise...EVER!!!


.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by flowbow

Hmm... Thanks for the advice. From what I conclude, I think the important thing right now is just that I'm happy. And I truly am, even though it's a bit disappointing sometimes because I know I want something more out of this. But to be frank I am happy enough as it is with things being this way.

It's my pleasure to help...and I'm glad that you are happy...

Do understand that happiness is not a perpetual state....if we do not experience some unhappiness, how would we know we are happy?

If overall, you are happier when with him...that is all that counts...do not dwell on the negatives...use it to help make decisions but never let negatives be the only source of influence....look at the big picture...and as always...'communicate' with him...

Enjoy the life you have...


.

[sane]

Originally Posted by Wizrd

Hi sane,

Sorry but spent yesterday flying around...two countries in 7 hours......but at least for now I'm settled for the next few days...

That's great if you're happy with how it is going...I do tend to be suspicious of a relationship that is neither moving forward nor backwards...however, I do not have enough information to say that yours is like that...

Just be happy girl...

A good laugh a day keeps the doctors away...stay healthy and cool...both in body and mind...

Best advise...EVER!!!


.

Tks tks, will take note

[kengohchien]

somehow I have tried a few times to put an end to it but have failed. it is always easier to tell myself to just stop thinking of the consequences and just go on with the flow. and indeed, being with him makes me happy - i looked forward to our lunches, our quick breakfasts, our ''romps''. many people say that to be loved means that you are blessed. thinking about it, i sometimes think the reverse is true - being loved just places a burden on you; you may feel required to reciprocate, you need to think of how to make someone else happy. or perhaps i just haven't been loved enough before. but loving someone - you feel happy whenever you are with him or her, you cannot grasp hold enough of time to be satisfied with his or her company, and you would want to do so much for him or her - i used to remind him to take his pills, to buy him little things like cough drops. for a long while, i was just content to love him silently, or even if that wasn't love enough, it was what i thought was love.

but now, too many things have shown me that he doesn't love me. correction, i actually knew that he didn't love me from the start - which is why i started this thread. but i don't think i'm wrong in expecting a certain degree of care and concern to be given back to me in return. of course i went into this fully aware that perhaps he just wanted my body and nothing else. but it hurts when i feel that he doesn't even really care for me. even a friend would care for me, just like how my gay friend told me - i saw how happy you were with him, and i told you to continue because i wanted you to be happy. it is such a pure platonic love that i could have teared.

i really don't wish to share here about the details or why i think he doesn't even remotely care about me. but those who have read this thread, i hope you've at least judged that I'm rationale and reasonable and i can judge if someone cares for me or not.

so now i'm trying to minimise contact first, but it is hard. i was watching 千方百计 just now and cheesy though it was, the scene where jacelyn tay died in Christopher Lee's arms had me tearing because she said that she was happy even if she had to die because at the end it meant that he wasn't dead (or something like that- i can't remember because i was already crying). i was thinking that at least she had a fighting tiny chance that he might love her whereas i have nothing - i am nobody and i stand no chance. so that is why i cried.

right now, i am starting to learn to smell the roses and appreciate a simple life. like how walking along orchard alone and watching the new Xmas decors can cheer me after a long day. that i have to learn that life doesn't comprise of him alone, or big cars or expensive hotels. it wasn't all these that endears me to him - he never once gave me any money or gifts. i suppose some may find me silly, really, but i was never coerced and i did it because i loved him - so that much, i've kept my conscience clear.

aiyoh. i know, this is so unbecoming to post this emo-creep stuff in a *GASP* sex forum. but i know there are nice people here. plus i kind of need to be heard and have no one else to pour it out to. don't mind me.

[cocobun]

Just tell yourself move on, stay happy, just that simple......it's all in the mind. We don't get to live a thousand years so life and time are too precious to be wasted like this......

You got your beautiful moments with him/her before, that's all you need to keep it and move on......there are so many happy things in life you could do and sometimes I just think that the amount of time in our lifes is not even enough so don't waste it like this staying on the same spot.

[Zwbff]

It is always easy to fall in love but to get out of it requires twice the effort. Both of you started on the wrong foot and why make more wrongs? Do you even understand what this relationship stand in your life while you were hoping and looking forward?

Do you know what is the most stupidest thing human likes to do?

Ans: Be Hopeful

[adoe1]

Sis, perhaps your question of "how to make my FB fall for me" signals your innate need for 'love'.. a real relationship.

Emotions r complicated.. make an attempt to differentiate whether u r really developing something for this FB OR u r seeking 'love'.

If u r developing feelings for your FB, best to end it asap.. otherwise it can be detrimental to your psyche.. u want him yet cannot have him cos married.

If u r seeking love, then start expanding your circle of friends to find a suitable bf. Better to start of non-sexual then when u r sure then sexual. About sexual experimentation, it can be taught to anyone. For eg, it took me a while before I learn how to make a lady squirt. Your new bf can be taught.. via internet or from u.

Good luck in making sense of your feelings.

[kengohchien]

woah. I don't think I've squirted before. HAHAA.

I think I've already been too wishy-washy on this forum and diverted from a sex discussion and I apologise!

I don't think I can stop it right now, down though it makes me sometimes.
For the present, I think about how short life is and I can't let go of the laughter. I tried cold turkey and failed. But I shall not claim to truly love him whole-heartely now, it could be an infatuation or just that I've never been lavished so much attention, been driven around or been taken on trips.

So I'll stop coming on board and moaning about myself and my choices, here's my blog for anyone/everyone who's interested.
No sexcapades though - how sad!

[rouselouse]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

somehow I have tried a few times to put an end to it but have failed. it is always easier to tell myself to just stop thinking of the consequences and just go on with the flow. and indeed, being with him makes me happy - i looked forward to our lunches, our quick breakfasts, our ''romps''. many people say that to be loved means that you are blessed. thinking about it, i sometimes think the reverse is true - being loved just places a burden on you; you may feel required to reciprocate, you need to think of how to make someone else happy. or perhaps i just haven't been loved enough before. but loving someone - you feel happy whenever you are with him or her, you cannot grasp hold enough of time to be satisfied with his or her company, and you would want to do so much for him or her - i used to remind him to take his pills, to buy him little things like cough drops. for a long while, i was just content to love him silently, or even if that wasn't love enough, it was what i thought was love.

but now, too many things have shown me that he doesn't love me. correction, i actually knew that he didn't love me from the start - which is why i started this thread. but i don't think i'm wrong in expecting a certain degree of care and concern to be given back to me in return. of course i went into this fully aware that perhaps he just wanted my body and nothing else. but it hurts when i feel that he doesn't even really care for me. even a friend would care for me, just like how my gay friend told me - i saw how happy you were with him, and i told you to continue because i wanted you to be happy. it is such a pure platonic love that i could have teared.

i really don't wish to share here about the details or why i think he doesn't even remotely care about me. but those who have read this thread, i hope you've at least judged that I'm rationale and reasonable and i can judge if someone cares for me or not.

so now i'm trying to minimise contact first, but it is hard. i was watching 千方百计 just now and cheesy though it was, the scene where jacelyn tay died in Christopher Lee's arms had me tearing because she said that she was happy even if she had to die because at the end it meant that he wasn't dead (or something like that- i can't remember because i was already crying). i was thinking that at least she had a fighting tiny chance that he might love her whereas i have nothing - i am nobody and i stand no chance. so that is why i cried.

right now, i am starting to learn to smell the roses and appreciate a simple life. like how walking along orchard alone and watching the new Xmas decors can cheer me after a long day. that i have to learn that life doesn't comprise of him alone, or big cars or expensive hotels. it wasn't all these that endears me to him - he never once gave me any money or gifts. i suppose some may find me silly, really, but i was never coerced and i did it because i loved him - so that much, i've kept my conscience clear.

aiyoh. i know, this is so unbecoming to post this emo-creep stuff in a *GASP* sex forum. but i know there are nice people here. plus i kind of need to be heard and have no one else to pour it out to. don't mind me.

You are not alone on this. I have never felt a heavier burden (other than the nature of my work) than to have to apologize the affections of an unrequited lover.

The desire to please and put loosely hopeful yet often derailed thoughts of 'giving it a shot' and 'hoping for the best' or 'seeing if it works' to rest is more torture than bad milk. You'll know if you know, that's all there is to it.

And the guilt of having to cut the treads before they entwine is a necessary evil, and you hope for the best that things don't go the cold turkey kind of awkward after.

Even though most times they do, and it takes months, years of silence before a chance encounter or a random facebook comment or like that plucks someones courage to say "hi", and it would end with "what were we thinking? we should have kickstarted this friendship thing a long time ago!"

But the flip side isn't all that great either. But I will always prefer to love than be loved. Or at least I keep telling myself that until they decide 'enough', the same way you've been doing to everyone else.

That Game plan show had a typically bad mediacorp ending. They're always botching it up, some shows really had such great potential and exercised at least some form of cinematography and technique. And then they shit up the ending.

I really liked that WWII musical thang though, it was a decent twist and an ending that give the viewers a choice of how they want to perceive the ending. Like Before Sunrise if anybody watched that.

[kengohchien]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

woah. I don't think I've squirted before. HAHAA.

I think I've already been too wishy-washy on this forum and diverted from a sex discussion and I apologise!

I don't think I can stop it right now, down though it makes me sometimes.
For the present, I think about how short life is and I can't let go of the laughter. I tried cold turkey and failed. But I shall not claim to truly love him whole-heartely now, it could be an infatuation or just that I've never been lavished so much attention, been driven around or been taken on trips.

So I'll stop coming on board and moaning about myself and my choices, here's my blog for anyone/everyone who's interested.
No sexcapades though - how sad!

http://aurorachang.wordpress.com/

or search aurorachang (at) w-or-d-press dot com

[Austere]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

my FB is much older than me. Unfortunately, I've fallen for him. He is still pretty clear about us being just FB.

I enjoy his company, i enjoy our sex. I'm not asking for more because he is married. I have never thought of breaking up his marriage.

All I want is to just have a little more care and possibly love from him. How?

The whole thing is just making me a little depressed - because I know he just treats me as a sex object, yet I don't want to let go of what we have.

Close your eyes, seal all emotions and remove the sex part.

If you dont like him, it shows something.

You need to learn to control your emotions, if you cant, dont get a fuck buddy.

Get a serious boyfriend and even a husband. No point becoming a third party and chances are you will lose out in the end.

[vinnieboy]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

my FB is much older than me. Unfortunately, I've fallen for him. He is still pretty clear about us being just FB.

I enjoy his company, i enjoy our sex. I'm not asking for more because he is married. I have never thought of breaking up his marriage.

All I want is to just have a little more care and possibly love from him. How?

The whole thing is just making me a little depressed - because I know he just treats me as a sex object, yet I don't want to let go of what we have.

Let go.

You can but you refuse.

Let go asap before it 'spreads' further.

[vinnieboy]

... & deeper (and maybe) to other innocent parties.