how to make my FB fall for me?

[BiGBadw00f]

Originally Posted by flowbow

I agree... But I always find it hard to not develop feelings after spending time together. I mean, firstly you have to be attracted to/like a person enough to want to sleep with him/her. To me, it's a fine line between the sexual attraction and emotional (?) attraction...

And how is it possible to not fall for someone after making love with him, and then cuddling up to him and falling asleep in his arms? How is it possible to not develop feelings after behaving every bit like a couple except that there has to be no commitment/strings attached between the both of you?

Ok, I think this shows that I am not suited to be in a FB/FWB relationship.

Just go find a BOYFLEN lor. Lol

[flowbow]

Originally Posted by BiGBadw00f

Just go find a BOYFLEN lor. Lol

But I am not looking for one. And I'm not interested in looking for one either.

[sane]

Originally Posted by flowbow

And how is it possible to not fall for someone after making love with him, and then cuddling up to him and falling asleep in his arms? How is it possible to not develop feelings after behaving every bit like a couple except that there has to be no commitment/strings attached between the both of you?

Ok, I think this shows that I am not suited to be in a FB/FWB relationship.

Then when u start to put in feelings, tts when the other party start to siam. Initially everything is so sweet n rosy but when feelings r involved, everything start to go downhill n the nightmare began

[Reoxy]

Originally Posted by flowbow

Ok, I think this shows that I am not suited to be in a FB/FWB relationship.

It just reinforces the term: Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.

We are just wired differently.

Physical attraction alone is sufficient for most men to give up their pants.

Sometimes, 1 jug of Tiger also works.

[flowbow]

Originally Posted by sane

Then when u start to put in feelings, tts when the other party start to siam. Initially everything is so sweet n rosy but when feelings r involved, everything start to go downhill n the nightmare began

Yeah I totally agree. Sigh. Damn I really hate this.

I just cannot control my emotions well... Especially when it's someone I already am attracted to. I'll tend to mix everything up, won't be able to separate physical from emotional, and think "hmm, maybe I would like this guy as my boyfriend..."

Originally Posted by Reoxy

It just reinforces the term: Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.

We are just wired differently.

Physical attraction alone is sufficient for most men to give up their pants.

Sometimes, 1 jug of Tiger also works.

Sigh, sometimes I'll ask myself, "we're so close and all, cannot be he doesn't have feelings for me right" and then I start mind fucking myself...

But after reading your reply, I think I should put a stop to all that mind fucking.

[BoinKING]

I don't hold her hand and walk around, she pays for her own stuff when we eat or go out.
We act like normal friends, when we get horny we have sex.

Its more of you scratch my back I scratch yours.

Apart from that, that's about it.
Emotional involvement is an investment you consciously make.. its nice to be exclusive but if both are adult and both like to fuck around..

Then why so serious? Lol

I dont see a need for a relationship with all the woman i meet, but i cant stop the primal desire.
Sg has so many people, there are bound to have women who see it the way that i do..

Just that it has evolve into a frequent basis like a good mate whom you call to experiment a new hawker stall.
Both have the same interest and enjoy the same pleasures in life..

Just that our social construct hangs on the family nucleus and we are taught to conform to the social norms..
But in actuality its just mind over matter.. if you dont mind, it seriously doesnt matter.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by flowbow

I agree... But I always find it hard to not develop feelings after spending time together. I mean, firstly you have to be attracted to/like a person enough to want to sleep with him/her. To me, it's a fine line between the sexual attraction and emotional (?) attraction...

And how is it possible to not fall for someone after making love with him, and then cuddling up to him and falling asleep in his arms? How is it possible to not develop feelings after behaving every bit like a couple except that there has to be no commitment/strings attached between the both of you?

Ok, I think this shows that I am not suited to be in a FB/FWB relationship.

Hi there...from your post, I'm assuming your are a woman...(sorry, I can be really slow on the uptake...)

Rightiho...

First up, not everyone is suitable for a FB relationship.

Secondly, it is NOT possible to not develop deeper feelings for the other person after great sex.

But please understand this:
The main reason most guys want a FB is for quick and easy sex, without the committment.
The main reason most women want a FB is to avoid complications in personal life and stilll get the sex.

These terms and conditions will change as the relationship goes on, and we have to know when to walk away if required.


FB works great for a man and a woman if both of them are in committed relationships with other people...they love their partners but there is something missing...usually the spark for great sex...they enjoy and love all other aspects of their lives together but find themselves still wanting in the sex department...then when these two hook up...oh man, sparks fly and the earth move and fluids spew everywhere...(ok ok sorry...got a bit carried away there...)

For them, this relationship of FB is purely for physical release or feelings they cannot get with thier respective partners....there is no thinking of leaving their partners, but it is purely to fill a void in their own lives....with each other...

For single, unattached people...FB may not be such a good idea...because one has nobody else to channel the emotional energy after the sex, one starts to attach those feelings on their FB...that is not good...that is out of bounds and that is going against the Geneva (or wherever) convetion of the rules of engagement of FBs.

FWB may be better suited to two single adults...

To answer your question, I do not agree that you are 'behaving every bit like a couple'...for me, a couple means jalan jalan - holding hands in public, watch movies, eat meals and go shopping together, hang out with common friends, build dreams and hopes of a common future and when apart, text, call or email each other a lot...has to be all of the above and not just one or two of those done with a lot of hiding...

In my limited experience of FB-ing, we tend to meet for very brief coffees or lunches or not, then to the room for our mutual release, then lie in bed together, nap a bit, chat a bit, watch tele a bit...gripe to each other about our lack of time and being overworked etc...share a shower...maybe more action while wet and wild...and then be on our way... 3-4 hours tops.

When apart, there is seldom much communication other than to propose the next hook up...with some I met once a week, with others maybe once a month....but during our time together, I can honestly say that I enjoy being with them...I enjoyed the sex, the warmth, the feeling of being held and most of all, I love her because she wants to fuck me as much as I wanted her.
There, I said it...I love her when she is with me! (But I am logical enough to understand that that love is not for me to keep...it is merely a rental...and as much as I enjoy the rental, I have to return it unharmed to the rightful owner...the love, not the person ok?)

I have had a few FBs turn into FWBs and then to just friends...but 99% of the time, once we reach the friends phase, we drift apart...because the thing that bound us together was the sex...without which, there wasn't much reason for either of us to hang around...plus, meeting an ex-FB's spouse and try to be pals...yuk!!!

You can only decide for you and how you wish your life to become...as I have said earlier to the TS...we are all just looking for happiness..screw the social norms, screw what other people think or believe, and screw the 'love means I must sacrifice and suffer for my partner' martyr bullshit...as long as we find happiness that we can replicate, that is what we should cherish...

So few of us find real happiness that lasts for even just half a day...why throw it away because "it is not right..."...well, fuck that....Mr. Upright, you be rightous and moral, ok?...as long as I am not hurting you directly, let me be wrong but keep my happiness, thank you very much...

I hope what I have written makes sense to you...if not, please feel free to ask...I will try my best to answer you...good luck...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by BoinKING

Just that it has evolve into a frequent basis like a good mate whom you call to experiment a new hawker stall.
Both have the same interest and enjoy the same pleasures in life..

Just that our social construct hangs on the family nucleus and we are taught to conform to the social norms..
But in actuality its just mind over matter.. if you dont mind, it seriously doesnt matter.

Both hands up to agree 100%....well said!!!

[Reoxy]

Originally Posted by flowbow

Sigh, sometimes I'll ask myself, "we're so close and all, cannot be he doesn't have feelings for me right" and then I start mind fucking myself...

But after reading your reply, I think I should put a stop to all that mind fucking.

I said MOST men. Your guy may be different.

You do not want a boyfriend and if this is being communicated to him, his behavior towards you is understandable.

Who knows if you told him that you are ready for an actual relationship, he may be more than willing to commit.

Originally Posted by Wizrd

H
The main reason most guys want a FB is for quick and easy sex, without the committment.

That is not the main reason because commercial sex in Singapore is much quicker and easier.

The main reason should be for the novelty and the excitement.

Especially for married men like me.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Reoxy

That is not the main reason because commercial sex in Singapore is much quicker and easier.

The main reason should be for the novelty and the excitement.

Especially for married men like me.

Orrrrr...you very bad leh bro...


Heh heh heh...Rock on, bro...

[cocobun]

Originally Posted by Wizrd

Orrrrr...you very bad leh bro...


Heh heh heh...Rock on, bro...

all men are bad, no one is innocent..

[sane]

Originally Posted by flowbow

Yeah I totally agree. Sigh. Damn I really hate this.

I just cannot control my emotions well... Especially when it's someone I already am attracted to. I'll tend to mix everything up, won't be able to separate physical from emotional, and think "hmm, maybe I would like this guy as my boyfriend..."

If u don't know the person well especially juz a few times, he might think otherwise., worse is to kanna those who kc just to get onto bed.

It will be best to maintain as friends first and observe from there. Flee when things doesn't seem right. “狐狸迟早露出尾巴”。。

Normally I will just be upfront and tell them direct that I am not the FB kind. Don't waste time on me. So far, the ones who made it to friend stage are good friends for years, there's always no lack of accompany for drinks, BBQ, supper, just that they r reluctant to tell the "truth" whenever u ask them sensitive questions, they will sugar coat the answer n portray a goodie boy image unlike the bros here

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by cocobun

all men are bad, no one is innocent..

Yes, very true...but no choice leh...男人不坏 女人不爱

[flowbow]

Originally Posted by Wizrd

To answer your question, I do not agree that you are 'behaving every bit like a couple'...for me, a couple means jalan jalan - holding hands in public, watch movies, eat meals and go shopping together, hang out with common friends, build dreams and hopes of a common future and when apart, text, call or email each other a lot...has to be all of the above and not just one or two of those done with a lot of hiding...

Wow. That was... Enlightening. Thank you. I think I need to print that out and stick it on my notice board... Except that I wouldn't know how to explain to my parents when they see it. Hehe.

Anyway, referring to the paragraph I quoted from you... Actually, we do most of that. We hold hands in public, we shop and eat together, and we text each other a lot. We text each other everyday, or almost everyday. And we don't really hide. Just that we don't build dreams and hopes of a common future la.

Originally Posted by Reoxy

I said MOST men. Your guy may be different.

You do not want a boyfriend and if this is being communicated to him, his behavior towards you is understandable.

Who knows if you told him that you are ready for an actual relationship, he may be more than willing to commit.

Well, he did hint to me that he's not willing to commit. That right now his career takes #1 priority and he doesn't want to get into a relationship. But I have always been doubtful of his status la. I actually think he is attached.

Originally Posted by sane

It will be best to maintain as friends first and observe from there. Flee when things doesn't seem right. “狐狸迟早露出尾巴”。。

Never easy to shuo zou jiu zou... At least not for me.

[gizbabe]

Relationship based sex just doesn't work.

You deserve better! Move on!