Does commercial sex prevent you from bothering with dating normally?

[TheIdesOfMarch]

Personally, I started using commercial sex options after I turned 18 and was finally of legal age to go to Geylang; it complemented my other outlets for my sex life which was primarily in swinging back then. This was quite a while ago now.

Been reflecting back on my past decade of life and specifically my sex life journey, and I've come to the realisation that I've increasingly dismissed the desire to want to date normally especially in the world of 2023. A large part of it has to do with me already being sexually "jaded" in the sense that I've mostly been there done that both with my past exes and with commercial sex workers (FLs, Geylang girls, MLs), and hence I don't feel the urge to pursue romantic relationships with girls just because I want to get laid and have someone to fuck. I used to want to get into relationships because of romantic love and wanting to have my own children, but now that's largely gone too because I wouldn't want to raise a kid in the world we live in today and I've grown out of the whole "one must have children to leave a legacy in the world" naïve mentality.

Realistically, commercial sex allows one a practically unlimited choice of escorts that you can pick out according to your own taste, not to mention that it is very efficient and hence doesn't waste time for one who wants just to check clear. From talking with some of my real life guy friends who also engaged in commercial sex from a young age, they were also of the opinion that having experience in commercial sex makes a guy less likely to date as they will see dating as a waste of time in terms of time and energy expended.

Have any of you here found yourself not bothering with romantic love/dating as a single guy anymore because of your experiences with/accesibility to commercial sex? What is your mentality about it?

[thedevil666]

Hmm. My own experience is, paid FL/ML is afterall paid for. I still long for a romantic relationship to fulfill other desires, such as some one to talk to, share a joy/misery, go for movies, hobbies etc.

Also, i prefer to love making than purely having sex. If u know what i mean. I must say im blessed that i found a gf that matches my sexual needs and preference. She do things that even paid services dont do. So if you cant find a partner like that, paid services is to go.

But i uds the convenience of paid service. Whether my gf/wife is code red or they out station or i out station, when u need it, paid service is alws there. I do continue to engage in paid service to address this area of needs.

Side note. For those bros who have never engaged in paid services. My advice is u don’t try. Never try. Once u try once, u probably will know how much u are missing from your current partner or future partners. It will become a hole that keep going deeper.

[TheIdesOfMarch]

Originally Posted by thedevil666

Side note. For those bros who have never engaged in paid services. My advice is u don’t try. Never try. Once u try once, u probably will know how much u are missing from your current partner or future partners. It will become a hole that keep going deeper.

This bold bit is damn true.

[Satos43]

Personally, I don't feel like engaging in paid sex prevented me from wanting to date normally.

In fact, was married and only just recently divorced (not related to any infidelity or anything like that). During that time, had no issues refraining from finding another partner.

Recently just jumped back into the scene and I would say that for me, service is more to get my sexual needs met but of course, love making is just very different feeling.

If I ever do find another partner, I likely can just restrain from wanting to seek out paid service.

[afterburn]

Originally Posted by thedevil666

For those bros who have never engaged in paid services. My advice is u don’t try. Never try. Once u try once, u probably will know how much u are missing from your current partner or future partners. It will become a hole that keep going deeper.

Not entirely true. A life partner is not just for sex, unlike paid services which only for one objective.

Life partner also fulfill companionship needs, someone of the same interests and values that you can talk to, assist you and share her thoughts or ideas to help you out of your jams, stuff like these. Keep you company into old age, and take all your nonsense.

But when you need sex and the partner falls short, then that's where paid services come in but no emotion attached.

Totally compartmentalized and don't mix the two. Some guys after long marriage will fall into this pattern, I am not surprised.

[Archer]

Originally Posted by afterburn

But when you need sex and the partner falls short, then that's where paid services come in but no emotion attached.

Totally compartmentalized and don't mix the two. Some guys after long marriage will fall into this pattern, I am not surprised.

I agree. Paid sex for me not as good as with partner.
When have partner, I don't go commercial.

[Penguin23]

Going by a cross section of guys that I used to cheong with over the last 20 years, I think the answer to this question really depends on what kind of man you are inside. Some guys just need a cum dump, some are in it for the thrill of the chase and not the sex per se, some are addicted to mind blowing sex and will always move on once a relationship stabilitizes and the sex gets mundane. Many are strictly one woman men at heart and will prefer to stick to just one partner.

I must admit that the longer I engage in commercial sex, the harder it is to settle. When you've had the opportunity to sample great sex across the region, it is hard to imagine giving it all up for just one partner. I must also say, though, that the ratio of hits to misses in commercial sex is actually quite low, the more experienced you are the higher your expectations. Yes you can play the game better, but you are also much less likely to be that easily impressed.

I am a romantic at heart so I always knew that commercial sex is simply a temporary stop to a buffet table, but in the end I'm ok to just have sex with one regular partner that I have feelings for. As age catches up with me, I admit that I still have a couple of boxes in my bucket list that I really want to tick, but I think hard before venturing to that murky world of commercial sex again..

[Northern]

People are wired differently. At different age, our wiring/thinking becomes different too.
Even romantics in relationships look for different things.

In relationships, its often the small things that hold the couple together. I like my girl to pluck those pesky hairs out from under my chin, scratch my bareback, cut my nails.
Its the difference between a house and a home as we proceed to other phases in out lives.

Commercial sex is akin to fast food, its a convenience with no attachments or responsibilities.
We will want to start wanting something different, whether we get it or not is another matter.
The horror stories of bad gfs, bad marriages are true, but they are the rare outliers.
There are still a goodish number of decent girls out there.

Commercial sex does not prevent or hinder dating, some linger and move on, sometimes coming back, others take a dip once in a long while, some move on after wanting more and take the plunge.

Commercial sex do not define us, we are not stained, dirty or unclean for having had it.

We are boys, learning to be men.

It is a lifelong course.

[sbwow]

Originally Posted by Northern

People are wired differently. At different age, our wiring/thinking becomes different too.
Even romantics in relationships look for different things.

In relationships, its often the small things that hold the couple together. I like my girl to pluck those pesky hairs out from under my chin, scratch my bareback, cut my nails.
Its the difference between a house and a home as we proceed to other phases in out lives.

Commercial sex is akin to fast food, its a convenience with no attachments or responsibilities.
We will want to start wanting something different, whether we get it or not is another matter.
The horror stories of bad gfs, bad marriages are true, but they are the rare outliers.
There are still a goodish number of decent girls out there.

Commercial sex does not prevent or hinder dating, some linger and move on, sometimes coming back, others take a dip once in a long while, some move on after wanting more and take the plunge.

Commercial sex do not define us, we are not stained, dirty or unclean for having had it.

We are boys, learning to be men.

It is a lifelong course.

Yo boy, how long have you been on earth. When are you going to be a man. HAHAHA.

[thor1981]

Originally Posted by TheIdesOfMarch

Personally, I started using commercial sex options after I turned 18 and was finally of legal age to go to Geylang; it complemented my other outlets for my sex life which was primarily in swinging back then. This was quite a while ago now.

Been reflecting back on my past decade of life and specifically my sex life journey, and I've come to the realisation that I've increasingly dismissed the desire to want to date normally especially in the world of 2023. A large part of it has to do with me already being sexually "jaded" in the sense that I've mostly been there done that both with my past exes and with commercial sex workers (FLs, Geylang girls, MLs), and hence I don't feel the urge to pursue romantic relationships with girls just because I want to get laid and have someone to fuck. I used to want to get into relationships because of romantic love and wanting to have my own children, but now that's largely gone too because I wouldn't want to raise a kid in the world we live in today and I've grown out of the whole "one must have children to leave a legacy in the world" naïve mentality.

Realistically, commercial sex allows one a practically unlimited choice of escorts that you can pick out according to your own taste, not to mention that it is very efficient and hence doesn't waste time for one who wants just to check clear. From talking with some of my real life guy friends who also engaged in commercial sex from a young age, they were also of the opinion that having experience in commercial sex makes a guy less likely to date as they will see dating as a waste of time in terms of time and energy expended.

Have any of you here found yourself not bothering with romantic love/dating as a single guy anymore because of your experiences with/accesibility to commercial sex? What is your mentality about it?

It is an interesting thread. I personally view commercial sex as a different mindset to dating and meeting "non commercial" women. Commercial sex for me is like going for clean massage - just feel like it, so go do it and finish.

I also have a personal kink of dating OPP, other people's wives/gf. Now in my late 40's more like other people's wife. I like the thrill of the chase. I get that same thrill when exploring to find new gems in the commercial sex world.

Conventional dating is less interesting for me unless I find a real gem, otherwise just cannot be bothered anymore. In the old days I dated anyone that said yes, and if the date didn't work out, go empty my balls in a commercial FL. Nowadays, dating, OPP and commercial sex are three different recreational categories for me (btw I divorced once so now living free of that as well)

[Dignified69]

Sharing my 2 cents and commercial sex(primarily Geylang GL) experience without the dating part.

There is never really anything cooking on the home front for the longest time, So GL is the only meal I get. So is it fast food or just food? Anyway. In my younger days, first 10 years of cheonging I was happy with fuck and go. The variety spoils you, so even if get a perfectly good fuck I will butterfly and the new thing becomes the best thing.

But as I age just sex is not enough. I need the romantic fuck. Happy sex really brings out feelings for the gal involved. Recently I like buying clothes for the gal in question. I want to go out with my GL sex buddy for a meal or just to hang out. I want the romance.

So I guess in my case commercial sex is spurring me on to dating.

[Erick]

Originally Posted by Dignified69

But as I age just sex is not enough. I need the romantic fuck. Happy sex really brings out feelings for the gal involved.

The above applies for me. Making love, is just different from having sex.

[lonelyfish]

This is my experience. I find commercial sex doesn't prevent me from bothering to date normally. When I had my gf, I don't chiong. Of course, I didn't have her just for the sex. I need a partner as companion than a quick bonk and go session. Commercial sex is fun, you can try out more things, get experiences that you may not be able to with your partner. The point of me difficult to find a partner is because of the kind of lifestyle I wanted. I don't want a girl who values career and lifestyle, I wanted someone who just want to live day by day. Not someone you can find easily from a city.

After being single again, I went chionging, mostly overseas. The experience is ymmv, but it is good to try it everywhere. When I visited GL, I couldn't really get satisfied at the Cat50/60 short time houses, WLs with low gfe and rushed jobs, totally not enjoyable at all. The Cat200 PRCs are still ok with their 1hr or longer sessions and their gfe levels are better. FLs are a hit and miss, not worth the cost and time IMO.

Entering the MP scene changed my views of commercial sex. I went hunting for lonely MLs who are able to spend their time to company with me during the sessions. Whether these MLs are true or not, it felt great, helping me to relax during that time when giving the massage and providing DFK, sex and overnight company as well for those who I managed to unlock it. Even if these MLs couldn't give me the same level of experience as professional sex workers, I can get very satisfied with their company because of the amount of time spent to build the chemistry, a level which I couldn't get even with my regular WL. I find myself getting too addicted with my current regular ML, not sure how I can get out of it. Some of the ladies like her are the kind of woman I'm looking for.

Now I'm either trying to get attached overseas again, or an alternative place where I can find such kinds of women as a partner.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by Erick

The above applies for me. Making love, is just different from having sex.

Yes making love and have sex is different. The problem is many married couples don’t even have sex (maybe fuck like rabbits behind each others back). A fl with high gfe can make a better lover. So why bother to date normally

[sbwow]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

Yes making love and have sex is different. The problem is many married couples don’t even have sex (maybe fuck like rabbits behind each others back). A fl with high gfe can make a better lover. So why bother to date normally

A few years ago, you weren't saying this.
Glad you got enlightened. HAHAHA.